The Stafford Family - Muriel Stephens Notes

Notes written by Muriel Stephens, the eldest daughter of Deborah (Corbett) Stafford, to Joy (Phillips) Stafford in 1985

Grandma Stafford’s mother (Ann Mary Rolling) lived in Norfolk as a girl. Her parents were middle class and she had some education of which she was proud.  She married a “black coated” worker to the great satisfaction of her family who in those times despised those who worked manually.  She had a honeymoon which was considered as luxury but it turned out unfortunately for her as her bridegroom caught a cold.  The bed in which they slept was damp and the bed in which they slept was damp and the cold turned to pneumonia from which he died. She was terribly grief stricken and used to go for long walks in the country lanes crying and calling his name.

Some time later she married a Mr Russell much to the displeasure of her family and to the disgust of her late husband’s family who until then had been very good to her.  The trouble was Mr Russell was a wheelwright! I think they had two sons and Deborah Ann Mary.

When Deborah was 12 years old the family came to Birmingham and lived in New Street where Mr Russell had his own Wheelwright’s business on the site which was later that of Marshall and Snelgrove.  Deborah was so happy when she lived there that she said she “could hug the pillars in New Street”.

She also had some schooling and she and her mother used to read to the sick and often acted as scribes for the many folk who could not write.  She was a Sunday School teacher and I have a Bible which was presented to her by her Sunday School Class when she was Mrs Stafford so that she must have continued for a time after marriage.

Deborah Anne Mary’s parents (Charles and Ann Mary) were opposed to girls going out to work but just in case of a rainy day believed that she should be trained at something.  She learned dressmaking at a very good house which often made clothes for royalty and she actually worked on dresses for Queen Victoria.

She married Thomas Stafford.  I do not know what happened to her parents and home. I believe her father died first and for a time her two  brothers kept the business going.

Thomas Stafford had his own building firm in Wright Street, Small Heath, Birmingham, and used to build houses until the jerry builders started up in the district and he said he could not compete and that every builder who became rich should be made to prove how he did it! He then did only property repairs and coffins!  However, it paid him, for a time came when most builders in the district went bankrupt and he kept solvent. He was a very hardworking and honest man.

Grandma Stafford was proud but he (Thomas) had no time for pride. Nevertheless, he was very devoted to her and his first consideration was her happiness. He did not go to church (at least in my mother’s lifetime) because he did not approve the ways of many he knew who did.

Their first home was in Muntz Street. It was well back from the road with a long front garden. It was demolished with a new road was cut (I believe in Somerville Road). At the time a row of houses was built on the opposite side of Muntz Street and the family moved into No 47, a temporary move which turned out to be permanent.

Their first child, a boy, died of measles when he was three years old - four other sons also died and a daughter Ann Mary, all from childish ailments.
Grandpa Stafford had smallpox when they were living in their first home and everything was delivered at the front gate where the black flag was waved. He was completely unmarked by this complain which Grandma Stafford claimed was due to the fact that she painted his spots with a feather which she dipped in goose oil.

After a period without a child Uncle Russell was born, then Uncle Tom. Grandma Stafford believed that his hare lip was the result of a greengrocer startling her when she was pregnant and shopping in his shop.  He slapped her on the back and holding up a large hare said “How’s this for a fine hare!”.
Mother came next and then your father.

Grandma Stafford hated the building trade and said if any one of her sons wore an apron she would choke them with it.  They all three did! Her ambition was that one should be a doctor, on a lawyer and one a minister.  Uncle Russell and Uncle Tom were set to Saltley College and your father to Waverley Road Technical School.   A teacher once told Grandma that all her sons were very good scholars but they did not think enough of themselves.  Too modest!

My mother  (Deborah Stafford) went to a private school until she was 12 years old and then to Oakley Road Board School which came into being as a result of the Compulsory Education Act.  Judging by the many prizes she won she too was a good scholar. Grandma's  ambition for her was that she would be kept at home and this was the case until she was 18 years old.  One of her more modern friends, Edith Long, decided that she was not going to be kept at home and went to night classes to learn shorthand and typing.  My mother liked learning and she went with Edith.

Just before Mother’s 18th birthday Grandpa Stafford went to London to visit some cousins and they had agreed to come to Small Heath to spend Christmas with the family. Instead Grandpa developed pneumonia on his return home from which he died. His funeral was on December 9th the day after my mother’s birthday.  I know nothing about Grandpa Stafford’s family. His parents had died before my mother was born but I believe he had two unmarried sisters who were schoolteachers.

At the time of Grandpa’s death Uncle Russell was apprenticed to the Pawnbroking business. Your father was at Waverley Road and only Uncle Tom who was 20 years old was in his father’s building business.  He agreed to try and keep it going.  Reluctantly Grandma had to send my mother out to earn her living.  Grandma had a friend named John Child Meredith who had a cycle and motor car business in Birmingham and he agreed to employ mother in his office.  Two years later Uncle Tom had proved himself capable and so Grandma gave him the business and in return he had to keep her and my mother.

Mother  was forced to give up her job and stay at home “like a lady” although she although she always considered herself to be much more of a lady as an office worker than ever she was at home looking after her mother and three brothers.

Uncle Russell did not like the Pawnbroking business and he came to learn the carpentry trade from Uncle Tom and proving to be very good stayed in the family business and your father also started working for his brother.

It was during her two years at business that mother mother  met my father (Charles Corbett).  She married him at St Oswald’s Church, Small Heath, on December 21st.  Grandma Stafford was unable to attend the wedding as she was unwell as she had been for many years. She had asthma and often wore a respirator.  She also had weak lungs.

My mother held her wedding reception at her new home in Handsworth. After her marriage mother used to go home every week to help Uncle Tom with his books and to do all she could in the house. They had difficulty in keeping a maid as Grandma suffered haemorrhages of the lungs and they became frightened and left!

Two years after mother’s marriage Grandma died suddenly from a lung haemorrhage. Miss Nash was then employed to keep house for the boys but mother still went weekly to iron their shirts.  Uncle Russell was very fastidious especially over his collars.

Uncle Russell married a girl, Fanny. She had no parents but an aunt who brought her up was very generous to her and gave her piles of beautiful household linen when she married. Unfortunately she grew fond of drink, which caused her to lose interest in everything else. Uncle Russell never complained but he must have suffered dreadfully. They only had one child, Russell. He was neglected and developed TB as a child.  Perhaps you know he married a girl named Ethel and became the father of six children.  He was killed very soon after Uncle Russell had died from a stroke a few weeks short of his 80th birthday. Ethel married again.

Uncle Tom married Lucy Collins. Her father was a farm labourer and the family lived in a small cottage belonging to a farmer at Hay Mill, Birmingham.  She was one of a large family and they were very poor.  Uncle Tom met her when he went to buy food for his horse.  Grandma Stafford did not approve of the friendship but she was a pretty girl and Uncle Tom was sorry for her, but he did not marry her until after his mother’s death and, as you know, she made him a very good wife.

Your father was the only one left unmarried so he decided to go into digs and so the home was given up. Until he met your mother he came to have his Sunday dinner at my mother’s first at Handsworth and then at Jockey Road, Sutton. All the rest of the history you no doubt know.

As No 47 Muntz Street was given up at the time of Uncle Tom’s wedding he had most of the furniture. No one minded him having this or the business in the circumstances, but mother was terribly upset when Gwen (his daughter) left everything to Mrs Ingram (Lucy’s sister) because she reckoned that much had come from Uncle Tom and she wanted your father who had nothing from his family to have a share. She always thought that the Ingram family were responsible for Gwen’s will which was made so near to her death. Folk advised mother to contest the will but Dad said a man like Ingram might have a crooked solicitor and Jim, my brother, would not demean himself to fight for money.

Ingram’s lorries often came to our old yard next door (Boldmere Road, Sutton Coldfield) and I always think of them as robbers! I wonder what Norman Ingram would think of me if he knew. (Note by Joy Phillips : Norman died just a few weeks after this letter was written.)

Grandma Stafford’s father had a brother who also lived in Birmingham. This brother had one son who loved to watch the wheelwright’s at work. One day he was in the workshop and a client was taken with him and said he was just the type of boy he was looking for to work in his business. Grandma Stafford’s father contacted his brother and as a result the boy, his nephew, was employed by this client who was in the Boot and Shoe trade but I know not whether as a manufacturer, wholesaler or retailer, maybe all three.

The boy proved as good as he promised and became quiet wealthy. Grandma was friendly with this cousin and frequently visited his home. He had two sons Oscar and Ralph and two daughters, Annie and Maud. When his wife was “carrying” Maud she became ill physically and mentally and died when Maud was a few days old. Grandma Stafford helped him all she could and was frequently at his home. My mother was only a little older than Maud and the two girls became attached and as soon as she was old enough mother began spending every week-end with the family. A few years later Grandma’s cousin married again and the family was delighted when a bonny curly haired half-brother was born, named Graham. These week-ends were some of the happiest days of mother’s life. The home had a full staff of servants, cook, governess, etc. and the children were taken rides in a ponycart. They had family prayers and Bible readings. All the family were very musical playing piano and violin. Annie taught mother to play the piano.

When they were old enough to go to the local Baptist Church in the family carriage mother went with them and on returning home there was always playing and hymn singing.

By the time mother was nearly 18 years there were changes. Oscar and Russell went to Canada where Ralph died. Annie died of TB and Maud started courting Arthur Jones. Strangely enough Maud came to live in Sutton Coldfield at the same time as mother. The enclosed is a picture of her with her sons Ewart and Ronald, your and mine third cousins. (Note by Joy Phillips. Photo was returned to Muriel without a copy being taken.)

Ewart became a doctor with a practice in Coventry but he died a few years ago leaving a widow.

Ronald is a Baptist minister at Budleigh Salterton, married and has a family.

Kathleen Corbett (Muriel’s sister) was secretary to Mr Reg Poole at The Motor Union. Once when he was ill she came home and said she had to go to his house to take letters.  It was in the same road as Grandma’s cousin’s (I have forgotten the name).  Mother said look out for “Fernileigh”.  Kath did and it turned out to be Mr Poole’s home so Kath sat taking notes in a place where mother had spent so much of her younger days.  Isn’t it a small world.